10 Tips to Follow, 5 Traps to Avoid in Writing Effectively**

**adapted from Kate Krulik's "Tens Tips for Writing Better Sentences"


1. Choose descriptive verbs in place of "to be" verbs as much possible.
Look at every use of am, is, was, were, be, being, been in your paper. Sometimes a be verb is your best choice for what you want to get across to your readers. But often you can replace the be verb with one that is stronger, clearer, or more descriptive.

Original
Revision
With practice, he will be a good communicator. With practice, he will communicate well.
We are inviting you... We invite you...
She was anxious about the test results. She anxiously awaited the test results.
They were always being disruptive in class. They consistently disrupted the class.


2. Use active voice instead of passive voice in your writing.
In the active voice the subject of the sentence takes responsibility for the action. In the passive voice the action seems to just happen, and the subject receives the action. The verb is always a verb, and the doer of the action is states or implied in a by phrase. (The project was completed by all of the team members and submitted on time.) Passive voice is grammatically correct and can be the best choice when you purposefully want to stress the action instead of the agent of the action.(Mary was just fired, a month before her retirement!) But passive can also sound timid and be a means of avoiding responsibility. In contrast, active voice sounds more confident, direct, and concise.

Examples: The by phrases in the parentheses are not always present in a sentence, but in a passive sentence structure, a by someone or something is always implied.

Passive Voice
Active Voice
Our profits were affected. (by a sales slump) A sales slump affected our profits.
A merger decision was made by the CEO. The CEO made the decision to merge.
The employees were outraged (by the news of the plan closure). The news of the plan closure outraged the employees.


3. Use modifying words and phrases with care. Modifiers (descriptive phrases made up of adjectives, adverbs, and/or verbs) can make a sentence sound bland, or they can strengthen a sentence by sharpening your meaning.

4. Challenge your use of long words or phrases. Examine your use of longer words, word forms, or compound word phrases. If you feel the long words are the best choice, use them. But often a shorter word will make your writing clearer and more concise.

Examples:

Original
Revision
in the event of if
utilize/utilization use
revenue-enhancement measure tax
A good athlete is a hardworking athlete. A good athlete works hard
due to the fact that because

5. Use prepositional phrases carefully. As much as possible, avoid strings of prepositional phrases within one sentence.

Original
Revision
We will meet on the 3rd Thursday of every Monday, in Centerville, at the Lancaster Hotel on McDaniel Street near the harbor. We will meet on the 3rd Thursday of every month at Centerville's Lancaster Hotel, 1423 McDaniel Street.


6. With long sentences, more is not always better. Watch out for sentences in your writing that are more than 25 words, or that take up several lines of your text. You can try the following:

Examples:

  1. Bill Gates does business with a great deal of sophistication and intelligently savvy finesse.
  2. My mother was the type of woman who ran her household in a manner similar to that of a corporate CEO.
  3. May is always a month that causes several problems for me, with term papers that I've known about all semester finally being due, studying for several final exams all at the same time, saying good-bye to good friends for the summer, and dealing with hay fever due to the fact that there is so much pollen in the air.

Revisions:

  1. Bill Gates is a sophisticates and intelligent businessman.
  2. My mother ran her household like a CEO runs a corporation.
  3. May always causes many problems for me. I have term papers to complete, even though I've had all semester to write them, and I have